My little nine year old girl started playing soccer last summer. It all started with pure fun, but after playing for a year now, it is evident that team sports really benefit a child’s growth.

When she began playing indoor soccer last summer, her coach complimented her athleticism and suggested that we should allow her to join the league for proper training and coaching in order for a better future. Even though it was quite challenging for her at first, since she hardly knew anyone on the team, her passion motivated her to keep playing. Through the process, she learned to make new friends and accept others. It was an excellent way to develop social skills for the years to come.

Besides learning to mingle, she learned how to listen and obey. Sometimes, I wish I could have the power of the coach to make her listen and follow my instructions without any questioning. One must show your ability and authority in order for the kids to trust in what you said.

What’s more, she learned the golden lesson, “practice makes perfect”. Success does not come in vain. Not only did she have to practice twice a week, but play an actual game as well. Needless to say, the star players on the team were usually the ones who were present at every practice. You may have talent, but practice is what makes full potential of the talent you have. Your harvest depends on how well you’ve farmed.

Of course, she grew physically stronger and more enduring with each game and practice as well. With all the junk food the kids are eating nowadays, exercise is crucial to part of their healthy development.

Last but not least, she learned how to embrace failure and always do her best in each game. While winning is an amazing experience, the game is about how you’ve proved yourself and how well you have done. Winning is just an empty feeling when no hard work was put forth and no team work was shown. Failures are inevitable in life. It is good to learn early how to accept it, learn from it, and move on.

My daughter is now begging to play basketball in the upcoming season just because one of her friends is playing also, but I convinced her otherwise. If she had quit soccer, then what was all the sweat and tears for? She had just begun improving and excelling in soccer that it would be a waste to just quit. Perseverance is another key to success. My little child got ALL that from just playing soccer for one season, what about your kids?

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Can we simply take the pain away from our children? I think that typically, we cannot but we can at least support our children in dealing with their pain. Pains of children can range from many different aspects. Pain from being teased at school, suffering from having their feelings hurt and the most horrendous pain are when wickedness comes to our children. As parents, in order to deal with our children’s pain, we must remember what it was like at their age and the mentalities of our children. I personally remember some heart breaks as a child and how I was totally clueless in dealing with those heart breaks. As a parent, I always try to ensure that my son does not have to deal with his grief alone, and I believe this is the most critical aspect of aiding our children in getting through atrocities.

I have found as a parent that speaking to children on “their” terms works tremendously. Speaking to a child aids them to know what you are trying to relay. Children need to experience comfort and safety with their parents. Children who have been abused or severely wronged begin to lose faith in people. It is the responsibility of parents to talk through the issues and atrocities which have occurred which will encourage children in not losing their faith altogether in people.

We can “speak” all we want to our children, and this is a powerful thing; however, it’s not enough. Children need to witness their parents actions in keeping them safe and secure. If incidents occur at school, our children need to see parents calling the school, speaking to their teachers. If someone harms our children, the children want to see parents taking active strides in keeping them safe as compared to only “talking” about it. If someone scares our children, parents need to be viewed taking preventive measures in preventing such things.

It is our duty as parents to safeguard our children from the weights and worries of this world. Children need positivity not negativity. Never speak ill of people who have wronged our children in front of our children. I’m not saying that we should say pleasant things about people who have wronged our children but speaking badly about people around our children adds to negativity. We should want our children to become effective thinkers. Displaying certain actions in dealing with abuse aids children in adapting to distressing situations.

Children are more intelligent than people think. Children will always know who protects them as well as who is TRULY there for them. This aids our children in forming lasting, trusting bonds when they feel protected and secure. Life is not always a bed of roses and sometimes, dysfunction can creep into not only our lives but the lives of our children. How parents handle these situations will affect the emotional reason of their children.

If you want emotionally healthy children, ensure you talk to them, listen to them, protect them. If you want emotionally damaged children, ignore them, ignore the situation and pretend that dysfunction has not occurred in your child’s life. Nurturing children entails taking time out of your active adult life and doing what needs to be done in the best interest of your children.

Anyone can say…”I would do whatever it takes for my child” but it takes a “parent” to execute this statement and put it into action. It is our duty as parents to protect our children. True love of a child is to set yourself in front of them while shielding them from pain and suffering. Parenting is not always happy times. Parenting sometimes consist of literally standing up and advocating for your child, even when no one else joins in your mission.

Love them. Protect them. Comfort them. Talk to them. They will love you back. They will run to you. They will talk to you. They will remember. They will do the same for their children. There is no more of a sacred trust than that which is held between parent and child. There is no greater responsibility than ensuring the rights of our children are respected. Our children’s success should be a priority. Children deserve to grow up without fear and want. It is our duty, and privilege to ensure this happens.

Many dog owners are bewildered when they hear their dog growl, bark, or take an aggressive stance. Unfortunately, many of these animals end up in shelters because the owners could no longer live with the dog. Would you give up on your child that easily?

Of course not! When a baby is brought home to his new family, everyone understands that the baby is learning your language and teaching you his. We begin to understand our child?s cry or garbled sounds because we focus on trying to understand him.

Your dog has his own language as well. Understanding dog aggression and your dog?s language will help prevent undesirable behavior and dog bites. Let?s begin our understanding of dog aggression with the acronym DOG BITES:

Dominant

Opportunity

Game

Boy/Girl

Injury

Territorial

Escape

Dominant aggression is also known as competitive aggression. It is brought on when one dog feels challenged for his social position by another dog (or human). Dogs are pack animals. Social order helps feed and protect the pack.

The dog with the highest social order is called the ?alpha? dog. The alpha dog gets all the perks such as eating whatever he wants, sleeping wherever he wants, and dictating to the others in the pack. He decides when the others get to eat and sleep.

Even owners of a single dog may observe dominant aggression since the dog sees the owner as a member of his pack. An example of this type of aggression is demonstrated by the dog who lays on a favorite chair and growls at the owner when told to get down.

The aggression is a challenge for social position and dibs for the seating arrangement. How the owner reacts to the challenge determines whether the dog becomes more aggressive or submissive in the situation.

Here?s a less obvious challenge to an owner?s dominance in the pack?

You are sitting in the living room watching television. Your dog comes up to you and slides his head under your hand. You think your dog is adorable and wants your attention, so you pet him as requested.

Here is the punch line to this situation. Petting is similar to licking. Submissive, less dominant dogs in the pack lick the more dominant dogs. In other words, you were challenged and responded with an ok to be the submissive of the challenge.

Petting (or licking) behavior does not always signify submissiveness. There are other situations when dogs lick, but we will not pursue that topic here. What we will offer here is a suggestion on how to respond to the situation above.

Gently cup your hand over your dog?s muzzle. Rub behind his ears with a little pressure. These actions closely resemble social order biting. Dominant dogs bite the ears, nose, and neck areas of less dominant dogs to keep them in line. Just watch a mother dog with a litter of pups! You?ll see the behavior right away.

Opportunity aggression is aggression that is intended for another dog or person; however, it is redirected to a closer dog or person because the opportunity to attack is better. An example of this type of aggression is demonstrated when trying to break up two fighting dogs. Sometimes, the person breaking up the fight gets bit.

Caution is the best approach to take with opportunity or redirected aggression. If a dog is agitated, it is better to maintain a safe distance until the dog feels less vulnerable and relaxes.

Game aggression is predatory in nature. A dog will chase anything that moves away from it. The dog is a natural hunter of small game. When something runs from a dog, the dog?s chase, hunt, capture, and kill instinct takes over.

A human cannot out run a dog. If a dog attacks, the best course of action is to lie down and play dead. This action is a submissive move.

You have probably seen a dog lie down and bear his vulnerable belly to a more dominant dog. He is communicating to the more dominant dog that he is not a threat to the more dominant dog.

Boy/girl aggression is all about the hormones! This type of aggression is also known as sexual aggression. The male dog protects his female from other dogs and potential threats to his progeny.

Female dogs, however, also display this sexual aggression when they are pregnant, nursing, or in heat. Even the most docile female may growl or attempt to bite anyone who dares to pick up one of her pups too soon!

Sexual aggression is reduced through spaying and neutering. Most veterinarians recommend spaying or neutering your dog during the 6-12 months of age.

Injury aggression is aggression brought on by injury or pain. You might easily see this type of aggression in a dog that has been hit by a car or one who is suffering from age-induced arthritis.

Injury or pain aggression is best handled by seeking medical care for the dog. Try not to touch the painful areas unless absolutely necessary for therapy or to get your dog to safety. Diet, activity, medications, and bedding may help alleviate the pain and therefore, the aggressive behavior.

Territorial aggression is aggression displayed to protect the pack?s territory. The dog?s territory may be much different from your thoughts of the house and backyard. Indeed, if you take him on any walks, he may even consider the whole neighborhood his territory!

When a dog is in a new environment, he may be ?territorial? because he isn?t sure of his surroundings. This is why a dog that is boarded may be ?cage aggressive.? The dog is protecting the small territory of the cage from intruders.

When this is the case, let the dog have his space. He is stressed out and will feel protected in his own area.

Territorial aggression may also be used to protect the pack from perceived external threats. A protective dog is one that shows aggression toward other animals or people when he perceives a threat to his owner or other members of the pack.

A dog may also show territorial aggression with possessions. He will protect anything that he perceives as his. This includes food, bedding, toys, affection, and anything else that is part of his world.

Escape aggression is also called fear aggression. A dog that is afraid will often shake. The ears will probably be all the way back on the head and the tail will be low. He feels powerless and puts up a fight because he feels trapped like he has no where to escape.

This type of aggression may also be brought on by the fear of punishment. Imagine someone standing much taller than you with his hand raised above his head. Is he going to hit me?

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Walking straight toward a dog, giving direct eye contact, or makig sudden movements can trigger fear aggression. Always move slowly around dogs that are afraid. Never give direct eye contact or move right towards a fearful dog.

About the Author: Julie Butts is a Kennel Manager and author of http://www.all-about-small-breed-dogs.com, an online guide for selecting, owning, and raising a small breed dog. Her website is dedicated to small breed dog lovers and includes information on breeds, training, behavior, grooming, supplies, books, gifts, and more.

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